I said, I have resolved to keep watch over my ways that I may never sin with my tongue. I have put a guard on my mouth…. [Psalm 39:1-3] (Rule of St. Benedict 6.1-6) Keep your mouth shut? It’s awfully hard to do. It’s especially difficult in a competitive environment, where talking is part of the …
Tag Archives: marriage
Fix The Physical
Treasure chastity. (Rule of St. Benedict 4. 64) The obvious difference between a rule written for monks and a rule for married couples is that whereas monks take a vow of celibacy, married couples take a vow of sex. A Christian marriage requires sex with the same person until death. Not continuously, of course. It’s …
Let Go Of Your Grudge
You are not to act in anger or nurse a grudge. (Rule of St. Benedict 4.22-23) Do not nurse a grudge against your spouse. There’s nothing so corrosive to a marriage as silent bitterness cultivated in secret. Whenever bitterness begins to fester, get it out in the open! Express honestly whatever the problem is. Work …
Refrain From Adultery
…not to commit adultery Romans 13:9 ;Exodus 20:14. (Rule of St. Benedict 4.4) Adultery–who does it with whom, when, where and with what consequences–is an endlessly fascinating topic for all societies, and in the literatures of all languages. Adultery is interesting. Same old same old is boring. Bored people commit adultery. You may not think of yourself …
Contend Courteously
The brothers, for their part, are to express their opinions with all humility, and not presume to defend their own views obstinately.…In the monastery no one is to follow his own heart’s desire.… (Rule of St. Benedict 3. 4-8) Sure, you have freedom of expression. But is it going to be the expression of a …
Communicate Artfully
As often as anything important is to be done in the monastery, the abbot shall call the whole community together and himself explain what the business is; and after hearing the advice of the brothers, let him ponder it and follow what he judges the wiser course. The reason why we have said all should …
Aim For Judgment Day
The abbot must know that anyone undertaking the charge of souls must be ready to account for them. Whatever the number of brothers he has in his care, let him realize that on judgment day he will surely have to submit a reckoning to the Lord for all their souls–and indeed for his own as …
Be A Good Model
Therefore, the abbot must never teach or decree or command anything that would deviate from the Lord’s instructions (Rule of St. Benedict 2.4) Neither should parents. Maybe you fail to hit the bull’s eye, but at least you aim for the target. Your children will imitate whatever they see you do. This means that if …
Live Up To Your Titles: Father And Mother
To be worthy of the task of governing a monastery, the abbot must always remember what his title signifies and act as a superior should (Rule of St. Benedict, 2.1). The father and mother must also remember what their titles signify. Today this seems to require a vocabulary review, even for native speakers. Never in …
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The Call: Awake!
Let us get up then, at long last, for the Scriptures rouse us when they say: “It is high time for us to arise from sleep” Romans 13:11 (Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue.8) This “sleep” is the spiritual stupor of ordinary people who imagine that the front line is somewhere else. They think that they themselves …